Not only that, but the fact that His Spirit lives *in* those who love Him. Romans 6 talks about the union we believers have in Christ Jesus. When we first believed the Holy Spirit entered into us, and therefore we are joined in the body of Christ. And being joined in the body of Christ means that we are covered by the blood He shed at Calvary, saving us of our sins, and baptizing us in his grace.
But then what?
Sometimes I feel like the union I have with God is only experienced when I spent time in prayer with Him. Like, after I was done praying, He'd go off and do His God thing. The idea that God was ever present with me was abstract to me. But recently, I learned that God is not just with me, He is *in* me through the Holy Spirit. How strangely beautiful and comforting is that?
When I came into realizing this truth, it took so much off my shoulders. It meant so much to me:
- It affirms and strengthens the fact that God knows me in the most intimate way possible.
- He really is closer than the air I breathe, than the beat in my heart, closer than the sunlight touching my skin.
- I am never truly alone.
Truly, when Christ died to sin, so did we become dead to sin; we become no longer under the dominion of sin. And truly, when Christ rose from the dead, we were baptized with new life. (from Romans 6:3-11)
I haven't noticed how intimate God really was until looking at Romans 6 closely. It really shook my perspective of God's closeness. Even as I'm typing this post, I know He is with me right now, in the room, and all around me. What comfort is this, to know the God of the universe is being in this room with me?
I was looking back in my old posts from this blog and I find myself in similar places as where I was. I talked a lot about my struggles with relationships, and it's definitely been rough. I'm sorry that it's like 80% of I talk about on this blog. College definitely is a time to grow spiritually, for the better even through the worst. Long story short, I learned a lot about myself, especially the ugly parts, and about how beautiful the love my LORD has for me in the past week(end).
In the past weekend, my college fellowship had a retreat and it was one of the most surprising experiences I've had with retreat. I was actually scared of going, because I was afraid that God was going to break my heart. You know, that one night you'll have the music going and the message will be saying everything you needed to hear, and you just drop to the floor weeping your poor eyes out. Frankly, I was tired of crying. I cry so much. Too much maybe. But I went anyway. And God, being who He Is, was being so gentle with me.
I'm not saying He didn't teach me anything, He taught me a lot actually. But I've never experienced His instruction in this way before. What a display of grace! He knew I was afraid and by His grace, worked in my heart in such a gentle way. But then I came home from retreat, and He broke my heart.
In the moment when God is taking something out of your heart, you weep because it's the biggest part of you, and it seems like it will never be recovered. Yet, whenever God breaks my heart, it's needed. One of the things I've learned is that God's intentions are always constructive, meaning that He is taking a thorn out in order for me to place my focus back to Him. And this time, I choose to listen. Man, it hurts.
I looked back in my past posts of heartbreak and I stand in awe of the faith and hope I had despite what I was feeling. I want to be that girl again. I know that the LORD is faithful, and that He will revive and restore me once again. Today was such a blessing, but it was tough as well, yet I can already feel God's grace working in me. I've been learning a lot of things concerning the nature of God. It's all really a big jumble of things, all good things, but it's hard to get it all straightened out in a post so quickly. But I wanted to focus on God's closeness.
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Immanuel means "God is with us", and I Am means that God is who He says He is (which is a lot of beautiful and great things). David Crowder can explain "I Am" it better for me, and a dear friend and sister-in-Christ Courtney, had me look at Immanuel in a new way. I cannot say enough about how much God has shaped me in 24 hours. It's amazing! If anything, this is so much more of a confessional post because, oh it's so all over the place and disorganized, but one thing remains true: God is faithful, and God is good, all the time.
I've been reading and memorizing this verse, and taking a lot of hope in it:
"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through Him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."
- 2 Corinthians 1:20
No matter what happens next, I know they belong in God's domain. I pray for God's will. I pray for revival in my soul. I pray for restoration between me and someone special to me. I pray for a fearless future in the name of Jesus! For I choose to respond faithfully, not matter how long or how hard it'll take. Every day, the LORD has supplied me strength, so whom shall I fear? When I'm struggling, I'll come to the feet of Jesus in prayer. When I'm doing alright, I'll join in on the joy that God sings over me every day.
Holy LORD, I praise You for Your faithfulness! I love Your presence, LORD. I wish to dwell in Your house. For Your promises are true, whatever they are. I choose to place my hope in You. For You are Immanuel, and I delight in Your embrace. God is still faithful, and is ever still present.
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